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About Me Member Wannabe Novelist rebellionFemale/Canada Recent Activity Deviant for 5 Years
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Kind of intimidated

Wed May 6, 2009, 11:28 PM
  • Mood: Anguish
  • Listening to: Shot in the Back of the Head - Moby
  • Watching: Doubt
  • Playing: Spore
Wow. I was trying to draw last night... got a free download of a Current 93 song I'd been thirsting for and a last.fm giveaway Moby track and got doodly. Comparing that (which I was actually putting decent effort into, or so I thought) to this older stuff on my account... I have lost so much skill and innovation over the time my hands and mind have spent inactive.

It's very intimidating for me.

When I was really into fitness and weight training (fell off the bandwagon due to personal problems... I'll be back there with the best of 'em), my old personal trainer said that once you'd built muscle, if you lost it it was much easier to build the second time than the first because people's bodies have a kind of 'muscle memory'. I'm praying that there's some kind of 'art/creativity memory'... and that if I stick with this, I'll gain my lost skill back more quickly than it took to acquire initially... At least I hope.

I keep wondering why this happened; why I hit this block out of nowhere. Maybe I'm not some prodigy or anything decidedly special in the way of artwork, but it was something that I had loved my entire life... and something I dedicated a lot of time towards pursuing. And then, seemingly out of the blue, I just... stopped. I stopped wanting to do it.

It's a puzzler, let me tell you. And I don't feel quite right about it. But, hopefully with the spare time that my summer work period (can't really call it a break) provides, I might be able to find something of what I lost... rebuild some of that skill and hopefully retrieve a little passion!

Let's hope anyways! Just thinking in typing... can't really call it out loud, but you know.

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Purgatory
  • Interests: absent concentration
  • Favourite band or musician: Pink Floyd
  • Favourite genre of music: metal, progressive rock, electronica
  • Favourite artist: Salvidor Dali, Mike Lavalee, Christopher Shy
  • Favourite poet or writer: Victor Hugo
  • Favourite style of art: surreal
  • Favourite game: who stole the cookies form the cookie jar, commando version
  • Favourite cartoon character: Raven the Teen Titan
  • Tools of the Trade: bic mech pencils, hardtmuth 6 b pencil, micron pens, prismacolor markers & pencilcrayons, tablet

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Comments


:iconmisterorchestra:
I watched you a loooong time ago...probably on White-Jackal, I think. Just stumbled across your page and figured, eh...what the hell, why not?

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Commission Prices
Watch out Kids: I TYPE HARDCORE!!!
MangaBullet
:iconsmann:
PRYING OPEN MY THIRD EYE!

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pleasure is our birthright
:icontelsi:
Hey rebecca! its me andrea...(from red pine sign)
:iconblackvragor:
so are you coming back to this gallery?
:iconrebellion:
it really intimidates me. but who knows? You intimidate me too. You're too amazing. By the way, your avatar rocks so hard.

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An antidote for the imperial poison. (Chromatic Chimera, UneXpect)
:iconblackvragor:
Yeh, I just read your journal about that. :( I hope you're able to get back into the swing of things. That or try different kinds of art like I've been doing. I think you'll feel good about it. :nod: Thanks, btw!
:iconrebellion:
yeah... what did you use to make it? Definitely made me smile. Ummmm well we'll see. Hopefully it's just a phase. Thanks for reading anyways though.

--
An antidote for the imperial poison. (Chromatic Chimera, UneXpect)
:iconblackvragor:
My avi? It's a little gif. animation I've had for almost four years now. I enhanced it in animation shop, :nod: I feel like that may be what's going on, I really hit a rut last year like that. I couldn't belt out anything of any worth last year, :/

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